Your Story: A Peter or a Paul?

My whole life I have known who Jesus Christ was. I went to church since I can remember, and never really had a time in my life that I was not covered by belief in Jesus, whether it be my parents' belief or my own.  I remember it was the sixth grade at lunch time and my friends and I were discussing our testimonies, which were to be given at our graduation from elementary school. At that place in life it was more impressive to have been 2 years old when you accepted Jesus, but I remember thinking to myself, "Well nothing has really happened in my life, so I don't have a good testimony." That was the first time I began to agree with a lie.

Middle school and high school came along, and I would hear of amazing stories at camp or church of people whose lives had been radically changed by belief in Jesus Christ. I began to hide from situations where I would have to tell my testimony because in my eyes "I didn't have one." I had never known life without Jesus. I had lived that "peachy" life with a loving family, parents still married, Christian school, obedient respectful friends, church involvement, and the whole nine-yards.

At times I would wish I hadn't known Jesus my whole life, because then my faith in Jesus "would actually mean something." I looked at others thinking that their faith was greater or better because they had REALLY changed when Jesus entered their lives. But my story didn't have that pivotal moment. It had always been this steady relationship.

As I went to college I still faced those thoughts. I remember a girl my sophomore year, telling her testimony in small group and if you could go through it...she'd been through it. Her story was dramatic and intriguing. She looked at me when she had finished and told me I should go next. I remember wanting to hide under the table and thinking, "Me? oh please no! Not after that amazing story of redemption and rescue! Nothing has happened in my life."

It wasn't until my Senior year when my then small group decided to do life maps. You take your life year by year and find the highs and lows, the memorial stones of that year. I sat there making a timeline of all the big events and realized for the first time in my life...I had been through things. I had been through alot. It wasn't as severe as some, but I saw in that moment the grace of the Lord sparing me from certain things, but also his discipline taking me through those dark valleys.

I realized, I have a story. I have a testimony that no one else in this world can say they have.

At my women's group, we are doing memorial stones again (speaking on events that show God's hand). A sweet lady discussed how she had not been a Christian until a few years ago, and has struggled feeling shame of not having grown up Christian and not feeling acceptable compared to those who had.

In that moment I realized something...we have all been believing a lie!!! Both sides, those who have grown up Christian and those who had not, believing that the other group was more "worthy" more "acceptable" more "Christlike." What a lie of the enemy!!

And the Lord spoke three words to my spirit in that moment. "Peter and Paul."

Peter and Paul. In those two men lies the exact contrast that causes trial this day.

Peter grew up Jewish, honoring the laws his entire life, knowing God intimately, walked with Jesus from day one of his ministry. He was a humble fisherman.
Paul grew up Jewish as well, a well-studied wealthy scholarly Pharisee, yet he hated Jesus and all Christians. He supported the murder the first martyr, Stephen, and countless other Christians.

When comparing the two, one might think that Peter was better than Paul because Peter hadn't done any of those "worst sins" like murdering. But Peter had his own faults against God, denying Jesus Christ three times, the very man he lived life with for 3 years (Luke 22:31-34).  God didn't see either better or worse than the other. And because of his mercy, he used both to spread the Gospel to the entire world.

The beauty of this comparison is that yes both had drastically different pasts, but they both had a moment of belief, one's more dramatic than the other but significant none-the-less.

God knows exactly how to reach each of us. Some of us need a bigger wake-up call than others, while others are whispered to in that quiet place. But neither story is greater than the other.

Both of these men had horrendous lows: Paul - his murderous hateful past, Peter-denying the God of the Universe he swore to defend to the death. But the most beautiful thing I see in both of these men's stories is that they both were abundantly covered by the mercy of God.

Both men could have forsaken all they knew about God, lowered their heads and ran away to spend the rest of their lives hiding from everyone who knew their past. But NO. INSTEAD they chose to deal with their past of failure. By the power of God, they chose to accept the mercy of Jesus Christ and press on to share the Good News with the entire world. Paul speaks the truth himself, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phil.4:13)

"Few unmistakeable evidences glorify Him more than powerfully restored lives that humbly and authentically proclaim His faithfulness to the death." - Beth Moore

The beauty comes from realizing our pasts are not perfect, whether Christian from day 1 of our lives or only yesterday. The beauty lies in the fact that no one has to stay in their past. Realize God's faithfulness to forgive and choose to accept his mercies!

So my sweet brothers and sisters,  whether you are a Peter or a Paul, choose this day to accept the mercies that are "new every morning"(Lamentations 3:22-23).  You have a story and it is a grand story.

Peter asked Jesus in John 21, what will happen to John in his life? Jesus replied "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?" (v.23)

Jesus says to us, "Do not compare yourselves my sweet children.  My story for you is YOURS, and yours alone. It is a story that I love, because it is perfect and good. So good. So rest in that, know that your story is my joy. Keep your eyes on me, 'Come, follow me' (Matt.4:19)."

We expect everyone to be perfect, except the One who is.

In Middle School, the Lord began to stir my heart to tell girls of the Savior's adoration of them. I recently found something that had really spoken to my soul. It comes from "Who Calls Me Beautiful" by Regina Franklin, an amazing book every woman should read. It is truly so beautiful, and such a perfect Word from the Lord for his daughters.

Before the beginning of time, I knew you. I knew what color your eyes would be, and I could hear the sound of your laughter. Like a proud father who carries a picture of his daughter, I carried the image of you in my heart, for you were created in my image. Before the beginning of time, I chose YOU. I spoke your name into the heaves, and I smiled as its melody resounded off the wall of my heart. Even your name gave me great delight.

You are mine. My love for you extends farther than the stars in the sky and deeper than any ocean. You are my pearl of great price, the one for whom I gave everything. I cradle you in the palm of my hand. I love you even in the face of your failure. Nothing you say or do can cause Me to stop loving you. I am RELENTLESS in my pursuit of you.

Run from me - I will love you.

Spurn me- I will love you.

Reject yourself - I will love you.

You see, my love for you was slain before the foundations of the world, and I have never regretted the sacrifice I made for you at calvary.

When I see every part of who you are, I marvel at the work of My hands, for I whispered words of longing and desire and you came into existence. You are beautiful, and I take pleasure in you - heart, mind and body. You are MY DESIRE. When you turn your head in shame and despise what I have made, still I reach for you with gentle passion. YOU are MY BELOVED and I am yours.

Here are some quotes that go along with this precious word:

Efforts to have a beautiful face and body rarely come from the desire to reflect more accurately the body of Christ. Rather, they have roots in the desire to make ourselves "pleasant to the eyes" (Gen. 3:6)

Beyond the dreams and illusions of childhood is One who calls me beautiful. His voice never falters, never ceases, even when I continue my childhood games, even when I keep listening to voices other than His.

Prufrock's love song is a cry to be known by a world that imprisons him in superficiality. It is a world that pretends to know life while it withers in spiritual death.

She lives with a divided heart, for she believes in Christ's ultimate love for her and yet feels burdened by her inability to love herself. Her struggle becomes an issue of spiritual pride - an inability to allow Christ to be enough beauty for her and unwillingness to allow others to see her insecurities.

I knew with my head, but not with my heart, that my beauty and worth are found in Christ.

We hear words of failure in our minds because we actively choose to give them an audience.

When we deride ourselves, we curse God's creation.

The world did not create me and does not know me. God did and does.

The only way we will ever know true, pure physical beauty is to seek a life of true, pure spiritual beauty.

True beauty is a life lived for Christ.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, I know who's fairest of all. His name is Jesus and because of Him I cannot define beauty as this world does. 

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Is it not incredible that even in our lowest times, when we feel like God's greatest disappointment we can STILL bring a sparkle to our Savior's eye!? How often we forget about the love of our God! The other day the Lord opened my eyes to this: We expect everyone to be perfect, except the One who is.

Wow. I was shocked. What a truth! We expect our family to serve joyfully, love constantly, and forgive  easily. We expect our spouse to never fail us or hurt us. We expect our friends to never leave us and to always encourage us. Yet everyone on this earth fails us. 

And then there is our view of the Lord. We expect him to be angry when we fail, not forgive us when we repent, blame us for all the evil, be harsh when we ignore him, forget about us, think us ugly and disgusting, not want anything to do with us. And yet...he is none of those things!

He reacts just the way we could only dream of!! He forgives when we repent, he responds in gentleness, compassion, grace, and kindness. What we expect out of all people, we can only expect from him, and yet we don't even do that! 

Oh how he loves! How he loves! He will never let us down. He will never ever ever ever...ever fail us! He is the lover of our entire being: heart, personality, body, quirks, voice, everything. 

This reminds me of a baby. When you hold that precious baby for the first time nothing comes to mind except "Wow, you are so perfect my sweet precious child!" The parents see absolutely no flaw in their child. And THAT is how God sees us! All beauty and all perfect. YES. He sees us as PERFECT. He does not see our faults, because of what Jesus Christ of Nazareth did upon that cross on the hill of Golgotha.   We are white as snow, precious and holy in the eyes of our Lord. 

He does not look at or dwell on our past. So why do we!? Let us fix our eyes upon the Savior, let go of our past as he already has done, and live for the glory and the honor of our Savior. For he loves you, greater than all. 

He loves you.