He arranges the smallest of encounters or events to lift my brow heaven's way. As the girl that the Lord has made me, I am prone to keep my eyes downward and inward. My mind picks itself apart and pries deep down into self.
It is those times that I lose heaven's vision and begin to see through the world's eyes. I judge myself according to the rules of the world...and that only leaves my heart sick with discouragement and misery.
One day I feel unimportant, another unwanted, and the next unknown. Other days I am frustrated with my lack of personal style or lack of fitness ability. I can't run a mile. I don't have the cutest clothes. I don't have a trendy hipster Prince Charming. I don't have a Range Rover. I don't have an amazing six-figure-salary job. I don't have 2,000 friends on facebook. I just don't.
And I am ok with that. I am ok because I know where my identity comes from.
Mark Driscoll said it well, "The whole world lives for their identity. An identity in the world must be achieved, Be it beauty, success, income, grades, dating relationships, athleticism, clothes, car, neighborhood, the world lives to produce an identity.
But if you are a child of God, your identity is not achieved, it is recieved. We don't work for our identity, we work from our identity. Only a Christian can live from their identity" (Esther: Jesus Gives a Better Identity).
The world must work to create for themselves an identity. Some seek to be the stylish one, athletic one, smart one, rich one, extravagant one, loved one, etc. Nothing is wrong with the listed things, but when we seek to find our identity in them, it will always end in misery. Either we achieve the identity and become proud, or we fail to achieve that identity and become depressed. But when you are a child of God, you have nothing to do to achieve an identity. You simply receive it.
You are loved. You are important. You are forgiven. You are renewed. You are redeemed. You are chosen. You are blessed. You are favored. You are God's beloved child. All because of Jesus.
It was just before listening to this sermon, that I went into the spiral of self-analysis. Who am I? What do people think of when they think of me? What defines me?
The Lord led me to this sermon in a round-about yet very direct way. It was exactly what my soul needed.
And then, he led me here.
"When I'm looking at the ground
It's an inbred feedback loop that drags me down
So it's time to lift my brow
And remember better days
When I loved to worship you and learn your ways
Singing sweetest songs of praise
Let my sighs give way to songs that sing about your faithfulness
Let my pain reveal your glory as my only real rest
Let my losses show me all I truly have is you
Why am I down?
Why so disturbed?
I am satisfied in You."
You see, as a child of God, I will never have an identity in this world. When the world looks to define me by my clothes, car, success, relationships, etc., they will have nothing to pin me with. I have not poured into the things of this world, and therefore I cannot be defined by them. I have none of that because I can truly only be defined as "Daughter of God."
"I am satisfied in You."
When was the last time you said that? "I am satisfied in You." It is such a simple revelation when you realize how much freedom lies in those 5 simple words.
For if I am satisfied in my sweet Savior, I need nothing of this world. I have it all. Come failures or frustrations, none can shake a soul who is satisfied in Jesus.
All I truly have is Jesus. And for me, that is enough. He is enough.
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